I’m Not Here To Save The World

I am here to save myself.
I am not a superhero.
I cannot do everything.
I give myself permission not to do everything.
I give myself permission not to be everyone.
It is okay to say no.
It is okay to go to bed instead of doing the three dishes that you feel guilty about.
It is okay to be a bit scruffy.
It is okay to go three weeks without makeup.
It is okay to eat things that don’t nourish you.
It is even more okay to eat things that do.
It is okay to have an eating disorder.
It is okay to be in recovery.
It is okay to find recovery a challenge.
It is okay to wake up in the morning, blast Beyoncé as loud as you can and decide that just for today you are the flawless queen of your life.
It is okay to wake up in the morning, blast Beyoncé as loud as you can and find you don’t have the energy to be a flawless queen.
It is okay to make mistakes.
IT IS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES.
It is okay to be snappy when you have PMT.
It is okay to feel like the sexiest woman in the world.
It is okay to feel like being sexy is really just way too much hassle.
It is okay to have hairy legs.
It is okay to shave your legs.
It is okay to forget to text your friends for a few days.
It is okay to text your friends every day.
It is okay to call someone you haven’t spoken to for a while and say “Hi! I miss you!”
It is okay to ignore other people’s opinions.
It is okay to judge the blog post you are writing as you are writing it.
It is okay to write a blog post that might not win a Pulitzer.
It is okay to think that you could probably win a Pulitzer if you wrote more.
It is okay that you don’t write more.
It is okay to not always be a feminist.
It is okay to not read the newspapers.
It is okay to read a trashy novel when your head is full to bursting. (I would recommend Valley of the Dolls)
It is okay to take two baths in a day if it means you feel better.
It is okay to be jealous of people.
It is okay to have desires.
It is okay to dream.
It is okay to look in the mirror and think “Yeah, I actually am a bit of alright really”
It is okay to flirt.
It is okay to want children.
It is okay to not want children.
It is okay to change your mind.
It is okay to sing loudly, off-key and with great joy.
It is okay to be a bit selfish.
It is okay to feel old at 24.
It is okay to feel young at 24.
It is still okay to make mistakes.
It is okay to procrastinate.
It is okay to cry.
It is okay to nap on the bus.
It is okay that your favourite hobby is thinking up PhD titles with killer puns in them.
It is okay that University Challenge is your idea of a good time.
It is okay to have a cup of tea.
It is okay that you wish you owned more sensible cardigans.
It is okay to be whoever the fuck you want to be.
It is okay to step up.
It is okay to give yourself permission.
It is okay to breathe.
It is safe.
It is permitted.
You – I – can do all of these things and more.
I can be funny or sad or productive or lazy or messy or tidy or glamourous or happy or weird or normal or introspective or extroverted.
The real, raw, terrifying truth is that I am just as worthy of love however many of these things I do or don’t do. The real, raw, terrifying truth is that in the entire universe there is only one of me, and I wasn’t made to conform or comfort. I was made to be. Sometimes being is a messy business and sometimes it is marvellous and often it is both. Just for today, til I go to sleep tonight, I have total freedom to be me. Whatever that means.